Pits, The

Definition:

1. Hard stony surprise in the middle of something juicy and sweet
2. Bumping along the bottom of the barrel
3. Combination of 1 + 2 which is roughly about where I am now.

I think the only thing that keeps me slightly on my guard is the continuing realisation that no matter how far sunk in shit I am, and no matter how convinced I am that this (where I am at any given point) is REALLY as bad as it gets, it can and does get worse.

Today I cried even more than I have done this week, which is more than I did the previous month, which was more than I did the 6 months before that, which was more than I did the 10 years before that.

I was so off my trolley I thumped a wall and smashed a keyboard to tiny bits and the only lasting effect is two sore hands.

I really am a total cunt some days.